After almost a year of discussions and planning, we’re ready to get back into the handheld business. It was a tough decision, but we have built this awesome app that is going to revolutionise the way visitors interact with our collection. Here’s the executive summary:

In the same way that exclusive clubs refuse entry to anyone without a jacket and tie, no visitors will be allowed into our museum without a smartphone and an unlimited data plan. We’ve leased out our Information Desk to Verizon to handle on-the-spot smartphone sales to account for those remaining few people who don’t have one.

We’re in the process of removing all the signage and wall text labels so a visitor will have to rely on their smartphone to get around and receive any didactic content about the works of art. In fact, we’re also going to remove all the works of art, but you have to go and stand where the work used to be in the gallery, guided by wireless triangulation, only then will we download the image and interpretive content to you. Now that’s interactive.

We’ve come up with some fantastic interactive educational games, largely based around Marco? Polo! and one called Where the F*** has all the art gone?

This plan has solved so many problems for us. Our carbon footprint will be almost zero because we’ll have no HVAC concerns keeping the artwork at a specific temperature and humidity, we don’t need any lighting since visitors will navigate in the dark using their smartphone as a flashlight, and it also means we can actually sell our entire collection and no-one will be the wiser.

Click here for more details about the project.