Two blogs in one day. Who’d a thought?
4th of July weekend I, once again, abandoned my family (Curt’s words) for a trip to Colorado. My purpose was to attend the wedding of my college advisor’s daughter, Katie (born the summer of my Freshman year), who had determined to celebrate her wedding in the meadow beneath the family summer cabin in Poudre Canyon, about two hours north of Fort Collins.
So on Friday the 6th I headed off in my rental Saturn to Fort Collins for the rehersal dinner joining Katie and Ziggy (her spouse to be), the family, and 30 or so friends who’d made the trek to Colorado. Dinner ended in the early evening so we could all get to our various hotels, campsites, and cabins. The cabin I was sharing with college friends, unseen for 25 years, and a cousin of the bride, was about an hour’s drive up into the mountains. I knew from friend Dave that from a certain turn-off our cabin, Big Horn Cabins, was 31.6 miles up the two lane (one either direction) highway and it was a gettin dark.
What you need to know at this point is that I am not the best of drivers under ideal circumstances. Me, in a rental car, in the mountains, after dark, not really knowing where I am going. Well, let’s just say I suspect there are drivers in Colorado and Wyoming who are still drinking more than a week later having come across me traveling in one direction or another.
So….I was following Dave, who was driving a rental Sebring (darn if only I got reimbursed for product placement) but Dave was driving a whole lot faster than I was comfortable with–or the policeman who in fact pulled him over for speeding soon after we hit the turn off where I was supposed to start keeping track of mileage.
Got that last bit. SUPPOSED TO start keeping track of mileage.
There was no where to pull over and I thought to myself “Self, how hard can this be? I’m picking up a great Jazz station out of Denver and it’s only 31 and something miles up this mountain. Who cares if it is rapidly getting dark? Not me. I’m a grown up.”
So up I go and somewhere, oh around 13 or 14 miles up the road splits and I choose to stay to the right because it seems straighter but I admit to being a little nervous about the decision. Around 26 miles (and now it’s pitch dark), I decide to stop as soon as I can find one of those “get out of the way slow person” turn offs to look at my map and in anticipation I reach up to turn on what I think I have recognized as the reading light button on the rearview mirror.
Anyone have a Saturn and see where this story is going?
I’d never driven a Saturn before. I punched the “light” button and got no light but a regular beeping noise and nearly drove off the road a few minutes later when a disembodied voice said brightly, “Onstar, may I help you?” I nearly jumped out of my skin, not being familiar with the Onstar system, and wondered who was hiding in my car. I recovered quickly and replied to the voice brilliantly, “Uh…uh…uh…I thought you were a light and now I don’t know how to turn you off.” (Smooth huh?) Pert voice said, “Oh I can turn myself off from here and promptly did so.” At no point did I even think about asking pert voice for directions.
I won’t bore you with the rest of the adventure. Suffice it to say, I eventually found the cabin and my friends (who despite being stopped and given a ticket arrived at the cabins before me.) The wedding was lovely and the event was so far up in the mountains that I had a 36 hour hiatus from constantly checking my email on my Treo.
I’m writing today to announce that I am a fraud–not only did I enjoy my 36 email free hours but instead of being thrilled by my talking car, it scared the dickens out of me. Rob Lancefield has registered a formal complaint against me with both MCN and Media & Technology and I’m to be stripped of my stripes. Marla Misunas has elimated all my permissions on the MCN list serv. Nik Honeysett has taken steps to have my name stricken from the history of Media & Technology committee files. And Guenter Waibel, aka G.Man, he’s simply disappointed in me. Oh the shame of it all.
